10 great principles for building strong relationships:
Principles – Friends from Lifeplace on Vimeo.
1. Treat friendships as investments. Much like compounding interest, it takes time to build friendships.
It’s also wise to spread your investments. Work to widen your friendship base rather than relying on one or two people. You don’t want to find yourself relationally bankrupt! Get busy making new friends. The very best investments you will make in life will not be the financial ones, but the investments you make into relationships.
2. Friendship takes time to develop. Forget shortcuts – it takes time to find out who someone is, how to interact with them, and to build trust.
3. Friendships can sometimes be painful. If you’ve found yourself hurt by someone close or someone you thought you could trust (as most of us have) don’t be tempted to avoid finding new relationships by withdrawing into a shell.
Also remember that friendships that have been tested are the strongest.
4. Offer friendship first before expecting it to be offered to you. Think of friendship in terms of what you can give, rather than looking for what you can get from others. You’ll never know true friendship until you learn to put the needs of others above your own.
5.Build friendships strategically. Choose your friends wisely – they have the power to influence you greatly, for better or worse. Spend time with people who are moving in the same direction as you, with similar values and vision. Be careful around those who might hold you back or sidetrack you.
6. Friendship is ‘life shared’. Meals together, shared experiences and making memories together are all powerful bonding tools. Some practical suggestions: Call people up; invite people into your home; belong to a Lifegroup; be there for them in times of need and for important occasions. Be proactive about attracting new friendships.
Pr 11:30 The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life; a wise person wins friends (NLT)
7. Treat people the way you would like to be treated. Sometimes people in business think that the best way to get to the top is to be cutthroat and abuse relationships. Most of us have the natural tendency to react to how others treat us, rather than proactively giving courtesy, respect and care, especially if their behaviour towards us is less than friendly.
Remember the Golden Rule?
Matthew 7:12 Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behaviour: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God’s Law and Prophets and this is what you get. (The Message)
What kind of friend would you like to have? Be that person!
8. Learn to be a great listener. Don’t be a ‘motor mouth’! Don’t just talk about yourself; learn to ask open-ended questions that give others a chance to share about themselves.
9. Take the risk of vulnerability. Don’t lose the ability to trust, even though there is always the chance this may be abused. Withdrawing into suspicion and self-protection is not a healthy place to stay. As a general rule, offer others your trust – it’s the currency of a relational bank account.
10. Develop a lifestyle of self-evaluation. Be able to learn from others and adjust your behaviour when appropriate.
Iron sharpens Iron: Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. (NLT)
These principles have been proven to work – over millennia!
Always make room for friendships in your life.
