Here are some words that help paint a picture of what this new series we’re starting on is about: relationships, friendship, community, togetherness, fellowship.

So what’s all that got to do with elephants?

Well, since you ask, can I tell you a little about the life of elephants?

The largest of all land animals, they can live to 80, are highly trainable, can swim, paint and recognise themselves in a mirror.

But what is most unusual is how they do life together. They form close-knit herds and groups that live together as a family for a lifetime. They have strong relationships with each other which may last a lifetime.

Through good times and hard times, elephants share their lives with each other. These relationships are so strong that they mourn the death of their relatives. They place grass, dirt or branches over the body and then stay with it for several days.

For me, this comparison gives a light-hearted example of something that is actually very important us as individuals – and critical to us as a church: ‘doing life together’. In fact there are some valuable insights to be found on this subject.

People crave community.

Despite the attempts to create online communities, and the various ways society attempts to fill this colossal need, there still seems to be a massive void in many people’s lives – a need for face to face relationships and to belong to a collective group where they can find friendship and regularly share their lives.

We were created for community, and God has designed the means to fulfil that need.

Principles – Family from Lifeplace on Vimeo.

Our greatest call in life is not to a build a company, serve a cause or even perform a church ministry.

For most of us (unless you have chosen to remain single for the rest of your life) our greatest calling will be to our family – to cultivate, nurture, and develop a healthy marriage and to be loving parents to our children.

Some stats:

A typical middle income Australian family spends $537,000 for 2 children from birth to the age of 21, with the biggest costs being food, education and childcare (National Centre for Economic Modelling).

For those with kids, hearing that figure could lead you to embark on wild fantasies about all the money you might have banked otherwise. For others, that number might seem to support the decision to remain childless.

Are they worth half a million? It doesn’t seem so bad if you break it down. It translates into $12,000 a year, or $245 a week. That’s a mere $35 a day!  Just over $1.40 an hour.

In fact it’s really not such a bad deal when you consider all the love, laughter and pride your children bring you – all totally priceless and irreplaceable.

Plus, you get to be a hero, at least for a short time! In the eyes of your young child, you rank right up there with God. Now there’s something to live up to!

Here’s a lesson from Proverbs:

Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV) Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

1. Intentionally train your children for future – don’t delegate their upbringing and training in areas such as behaviour, character, attitudes and manners to others such as schools, the churches, child minders or Grandma
2. Be a strong role model to your kids by always putting God first in your own life
3. Cultivate your marriage
4. Love each child unconditionally

Never forget that the family was designed by God as the best environment for children to grow up in.

It has been said that: ‘The best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse.’

Gen 2:24 For this reason shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife

So what is the key to a raising children and building a strong family? What is the source of a family needs to draw from to enable it to endure both the sunny days and the valleys of life?

When it comes to family, it all comes back to the strength of the marriage relationship – a healthy marriage built on Godly principles.

Invest heavily in your family – the returns will surpass those in all other areas of your life. Make your family your ‘great call’ in life.

In so many ways, marriage is a ‘real life’ test of our character and faith. It involves so much of what life is really all about.

Living by principles can help us achieve the results we are after. Principles are like keys: ‘If I do this – I will get that result.’

Here’s a principle for Marriage and Family Life: ‘I will live by the principle of being faithful to my marriage.’

Today we live in a culture that glorifies professional achievements, yet rarely acknowledges success in marriage and family life.

I was extremely fortunate to have been given the most precious gift any child have – the gift of a loving family.

Maybe some of you did too, but even if your upbringing was less than ideal, take hope.

The Bible has many examples of imperfect families. In fact some of the great men and women of the Bible had family difficulties.

• The first family in the Bible was dysfunctional. One brother was so jealous of the other brother that he murdered him
• Noah got drunk
• Lot offered his daughters up to strangers
• Abraham told his wife Sarah to lie that she was his sister and offered her to a foreign king
• Jacob and Esau didn’t talk to each other for 20 years

(All sounds a bit like ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’, doesn’t it?)

Let’s take a look at the first family ever created.

In Genesis 2 God calls everything He created ‘good’ or ‘very good’.

But then in Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’

Because it was ‘not good’ that Adam was alone, God created woman to be man’s (equally ranked, but differently ‘wired’) helper. Eve was created as an ideal match for Adam.

Genesis 2:21-23

• God created both woman and man in His own image.
• God created the woman equal in dignity and value to the man.

God created both women and men with spiritual natures, sharp minds and a calling to work and to accomplish things together. For married couples this happens over a lifetime.

We often hear this scripture quoted at weddings:

Mark 10:6–9 (NLT) ⁶ But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ⁷ ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, ⁸ and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, ⁹ let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

Long-term commitment is not popular in our culture. Today we emphasize individual rights, personal freedom and mobility.

Commitment to marriage often requires being able to put your spouse’s needs above your own, even long after the initial phase of feeling totally ‘in love’ with each other.

Note the words of Dr. James Dobson:  “A marriage built upon Christ has the tools necessary to weather storms.”

Here’s something to think about:

How could you show love to your spouse more? Is there anything you could do differently? Is your family operating at its absolute best?

Make a commitment to do something that builds your marriage this week.

‘I will decide to live by the principle of being faithful to my marriage.’

(By the way, if you’re not married yet, maybe you will be one day. Remember – you can be preparing yourself for a strong marriage long before the event – even before you find that special someone!)

Lifeplace

Here is a new post by Pastor Frank Damazio. Some great thoughts and convictions about growing the church. At Lifeplace, we are growing and believing for more growth. Remember, growth = more lives changed! His website is http://www.frankdamazio.com.

“I am a leader who functions as a local church pastor of a multi-campus, multi-cultural, multi-generational church and I have determined to build a culture of growth into the leaders I work with and the congregation I lead. I have settled on seven ministry convictions which help me to lead with clarity and consistency.

1. I have settled that I will give my life to starting churches, growing churches, and multiplying growing churches nationally and internationally.
2. I have settled that God wants His church to grow, that God wants the church we lead to grow, and that “no growth” is unacceptable.
3. I have settled that leading a growing church is a decision, a conviction, and a commitment to break through all necessary obstacles with hard work, prayer, and strategy.
4. I have settled that, as a leader, I will deal with all seasons of church growth – planned growth, surprising growth, thriving growth, warfare growth, plateaued growth, declining growth.
5. I have settled that declining or dying churches can be revived and can experience a turn-around season.
6. I have settled that building a culture of church growth is a God-pleasing and God-ordained attitude.
7. I have settled that God has opened a door of opportunity for a great season of church growth.”

God’s goal for your life is wholeness, completeness in every area – body, soul and spirit.

Though the world today seems to be overly focussed on outward appearances and the physical, those of us who are Christians can sometimes be so absorbed in working on spiritual issues and our thought life /attitudes that we forget about the need to maintain our own physical fitness and foster a healthy lifestyle.

Your health is vitally important. It affects every area of your life.

Over the next ten years of your life, we don’t just want to have great financial and spiritual goals but be neglecting our health.

Here are some areas worth looking at in pursuing a sense of overall wellbeing:

• Nutrition – eating in moderation, eating healthy food and drinking plenty of water
• Exercise – at least five times a week for maximum benefit
• Hobbies – we all need some sort of recreation

• Lifestyle – getting enough sleep, having an active social life, avoiding overindulging and being over-stressed

Maintaining our own health is our own responsibility.

Of course some health issues can be beyond our control, and yes, God can bring healing, and miraculous healings do happen; but never forget that we ourselves have the main part to play in maintaining our own health and wellbeing. Neglect or abuse your body – eventually you pay the price.

Never forget that your mental state also has a strong affect on your overall health. Regularly engage in activities that are intrinsically rewarding. Apparently doing good to others releases a flood of healing and beneficial chemicals which bring life & health to every part of the body, promoting healing and even warding off many illnesses. Conversely bitterness, unresolved anger and prolonged stress can literally poison your body.

3 John 2:2 (NLT) Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:19 (NLT) Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself.

Decide to adopt the principle of healthy living.

A pilot announced to his passengers, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we have a tail wind, and we are making excellent time. The bad news is that our compass is broken and we have no idea where we are going.’

Is your life a bit like this plane? Firing on all engines but unsure of where you’re heading? Or maybe even way off track?

There is a cry for simplicity in the world today – a cry for help to make it through the fog, to know how to cut through distractions and to navigate life with confidence.

We have a new decade in front of us. We can’t control what’s going to happen in the world, but we do control the principles we live by. We are participants in our journey, not just passengers or spectators.

Ever looked at someone successful and thought they just ‘got lucky’? Yet we’re very aware of how difficult it can be to attain success in own lives.

Our outcomes over this next decade will be the sum total of the principles we build on.

Pr 11:4 A thick bankroll is no help when life falls apart, but a principled life can stand up to the worst.

One of the best illustrations of the effect of having a set of core principles to live by is a compass.

A compass shows us exactly where north is.

Think of how this little instrument is used at sea. Even with ocean all around and without any other bearings, a compass enables the crew to navigate the ship through fog, storms, and darkness. Without it, the boat can just drift aimlessly.

I have a rare, authentic World War Two compass, used on the field by a U.S. soldier. This small piece of equipment may have been one of this man’s most valued possessions when he was out on patrol.

Our generation seems to have some broken compasses:

1. A broken moral compass
2. A broken family compass
3. A broken God compass
4. A broken relational compass
5. A broken financial compass

There is huge personal responsibility in the decisions we make. Ultimately, it is our decisions in our behaviour, our morals, our lifestyle, our faith, our finances, our time, and our direction in life that really determine who we are as a person. How amazing is God’s respect for our personal right to make decisions? (As a parent, I find it hard to imagine what he went through to allow Adam and Eve to sin.)

When faced with a relational problem, a challenge at work, confusion about our future, concern about our children, or financial pressure, we should be less concerned with how we feel, and more focussed on asking ourselves ‘Which principle should I be putting into action here?’

Joshua 1:8 (NLT) Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.

When the Bible speaks, it’s God speaking. It will help you navigate through life. It can help prevent you going round in circles and down the wrong routes or dead ends.

What does your life look like right now? How do you want your life to unfold over this next decade?

Let’s make the Word of God our daily compass as we navigate our way through life.

‘The Bible is my compass for life’s decisions.’

1 Corinthians 4:2 Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful.

We are all ‘stewards’ of whatever God has given us. However many people have difficulty managing money. Churches all around the world are filled with people who love Jesus, pray, fast, and read the Bible, and yet are in debt or struggling financially. It sometimes seems that Christians have some of the lowest financial IQ’s.

Just one bad financial decision can set us back many years. Some people spend their whole lives making unwise decisions and then wonder why God doesn’t seem to be blessing them.

Give God your tithe, but don’t ditch your brain! Let’s not blame God for personal financial mismanagement, or use God as some kind of wild card, expecting Him to rescue us from the consequences of our own lack of wisdom.

As a very quick example, let’s say your total income comes to $100 a week.

Here’s how it might get divvied up:

• $10 as the tithe
• $20 to the government in taxes
• $10 for food
• $10 on bills
• $20 to the mortgage
• $30 remaining for miscellaneous expenses

But then if you start borrowing another $10 from elsewhere, you’re spending more than you’ve earned…it’s all too easy for this to build up, and before too long you can end up paying somebody else interest just to pay each bill.

Are you saving any ‘$10 bills’? Are you investing?

We tend to convince ourselves that if we had more money, we’d manage it better. But when you get a pay rise, do you simply end up spending it all?

You are accountable to how you use what God has given you. Some of us might have more, some less, but the same principles are at work!

Principles are not dependant on amounts – they work at every level for every person.

Here’s a pattern to go by:

1. Knowledge
2. Principles
3. Decisions
4. Consequences

Good financial management is based on having sound knowledge, applying proven principles, and making well-informed decisions – which in turn lead to favourable outcomes/consequences.

Making wise financial choices depends upon living by wise financial principles.

Lifeplace

Family Fiesta Fun Day! from Lifeplace on Vimeo.

The Word of God has plenty to say about handling money. Here is a brief rundown of some practical ideas the Bible offers in this area. God actually has a helpful plan for managing our personal finances.

12 Principles of financial management

1. Understand that God is the owner and you are a manager.

We are just the caretakers or ‘stewards’ of what God allows to come our way.

“One of the greatest missing teachings in the church today is the reminder that nothing we have belongs to us.”  (Gordon MacDonald).

Ps 24:1-2 The earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness

2. Tithe to God through your local church

3. Spend less than you earn

It’s very simple. If you spend more than you earn, you get a little ‘gift’ in life that grows over time – it’s called debt. You may be a tither and love God, but if you still spend more than you earn, you will also get a little ‘gift’ – and it’s still called debt!

Live within your means and learn to save, budget, and manage.

4. Have prosperity with a purpose – live life with a Kingdom perspective.

Always keep in mind that you have been blessed so that you can be a blessing to others.

Luke 12:16–21 (NLT) A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops… ¹⁷ He said to himself, ‘I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones… ¹⁹ And I’ll sit back and say to myself, “My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!’ ²⁰ But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?’ ²¹ Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.

Like many people, when this man got a good harvest he just built bigger barns. He focused on accumulating more and more, without even thinking about sowing. A bit like building a bigger garage – only to end up eventually needing to run a bigger garage sale!

5. Generosity is the gateway to prosperity

Doing something for somebody else always brings great satisfaction to the giver. Be on the lookout for opportunities to give. Avoid having a ‘poverty mentality’ that can hold you back from giving to others.

Luke 6:38 (NLT) Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full – pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.

Proverbs 11:24 The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller.

Proverbs 11:25 The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.

2 Corinthians 9:7 God loves a cheerful giver

6. Finances are a reflector of the heart

Matthew 6:21 (NKJV) For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

7. Don’t over-spiritualise financial decisions.

Proverbs 11:15 Whoever makes deals with strangers is sure to get burned; if you keep a cool head, you’ll avoid rash bargains.

As a pastor I’ve seen people who got overly spiritual make some crazy financial decisions. Here are some things I’ve heard:

• “Well, I invested with him because he is a God-fearing man” (even the devil is God fearing!)
• “I just felt in my heart that I was meant to put my money into it”
• “The speaker at the seminar was so convincing and I think he was even a Christian, so I went with it.”

We can easily get over-excited and commit to something too rashly when we really should have stayed much more cool-headed.

This is not to undermine the sovereignty of God and the need for obedience. But God does not violate his own principles. By all means pray about it and take a spiritual viewpoint, but don’t ignore common sense. And if it doesn’t look good on paper and the numbers don’t add up, stay away.

8. Make wise long-term investments.

Spread your investments, diversify, and avoid ‘get rich-quick’ schemes.

Proverbs 11:1 God hates cheating in the marketplace; he loves it when business is aboveboard.

Work hard.

Proverbs 12: 24 The diligent find freedom in their work; the lazy are oppressed by work.

9. Cultivate a multitude of counsellors

Proverbs 11:14 Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.

Seek advice from

1. Books
2. Smart people (maybe your even boss – rather than others who may sound smart but have no actual track record)
3. Professionals in the finance industry (accountants, lawyers, etc.)

10. See finance as a seed

God supplies seed to the sower – someone with a giving mentality.

2 Corinthians 9:10 (NKJV) Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness

Sowing seed (giving) releases the power of God.

Seeds are tools that feed into your future.

11. Remember that God is your source and your provider

12. Giving is a part of our spiritual maturity.

Titus 6-9 Just as you excel in everything – in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us – see that you also excel in this grace of giving. For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich.

To sum up: Making wise financial choices depends upon living by wise financial principles.

http://www.vimeo.com/10081898

I want to let you know about our Family Fiesta Fun Day this Sunday at Lifeplace.

It will be happening at all 3 of our services.

At 9am Carindale and 11am West End, we have a BBQ, Mexican grill, jumping castles, baby animal farm, face painting for kids, and family portraits. It is all free, and is the perfect opportunity to invite somebody along.

At our 11am service we have partnered with 96.5fm and they will be there with their street machine.

At 6pm at West End we are having a street party. Free food, live music, and even a snow cone machine!

We will of course have our church services as normal, and the food and activities will be available afterwards.

We want to open up this day to the community, so feel free to invite neighbours and people from work along.

The event details can be found on facebook here: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=logo#!/event.php?eid=379011333361&ref=mf

How you handle your finances is a big part of your life!

The problem: Most people spend more than they earn, and either don’t invest or invest poorly. Many people lack vision for their finances.

Apparently the average client at debt agencies in Australia owes $73,000 in unsecured debt, such as credit cards and personal loans. (Debt Mediators Australia)

As a nation, we are over-spenders. Many people don’t know where their money goes each week, and a large number struggle with credit card debt.

Meanwhile, around the globe, world leaders are trying to figure out exit strategies from the GFC.

But despite so much changing around us, and amid great uncertainty about what the future will bring – such as which economies will prosper, which will fail – certain sound, foundational principles of personal finances remain true and reliable.

You know, just one bad personal financial decision can set us back many years. And sometimes people spend their whole lives making unwise decisions and then wonder why God doesn’t seem to be blessing them.

Give God your tithe, but then don’t ditch your brain! Let’s not blame God for personal financial mismanagement, or use God as some kind of wild card who we expect to rescue us from the consequences of our own lack of wisdom.

More blogs to come this week!

www.lifeplace.com.au

I am doing a series of personal journal-type entries on the blog focusing on my role as the Pastor of Lifeplace.

I remember before we started Lifeplace, we spent a lot of time trying to distil our core values into a small list. This process of discovery felt at times like grasping at a mist as it was so hard to narrow down the kind of church we were to become before we had even had one meeting!

Looking back at that process, and then looking at our church now, it would feel as if the process of discovery is much more dynamic than just a static list of values on paper.

Yes we have core values of Relevance and Depth, and they have helped be a navigation tool for us. And yet simultaneously it feels we are only on the first leg of discovering the kind of church God has called us to be. I believe the reason for this is that values are contextualised to the city and the people that comprise the church community. It is not just the Pastors values, but those shared values that resonate with us all broadly.

Our true core values are not just words, they are who we are and what we actually do. Some interesting observations thus far on our values:

• Our church has a strong relational feel to it. People typically stay an hour after services at our cafes talking and building friendships. This is a value that is authentic and has developed organically.
• Our church values practical teaching from the Bible. As much as I may personally like more theological subjects, it would seem that I always get the most response from very practical messages.
• Our church loves volunteering. We have a very high percentage of people involved in serving.
• Our church responds to worship and the presence of God. There is a faith-hunger in people’s lives.
• Our church truly is generous financially. People tithe, they give offerings, and they give regularly.

Some of these values we have worked at intentionally since we started, but bear in mind we worked at many other things that didn’t catch. These are some of the ones that we worked at and they connected with the people God has placed in our church.

For someone as myself that is driven by logic and being systematic, it is a wonderful surprise to see our church develop and take its own shape over time.

Our values – not that which we hope we like – that which we actually are.

I welcome your feedback and thoughts and questions on this.

Lifeplace

A man in Kansas ran an ad. It said ‘Want to speak to someone for 5 minutes without being interrupted? I will do that for a fee of $5.’

He soon began to receive 10 – 20 calls a day until his entire day was full. He just sat in his chair and listened. People where willing to PAY for this.

Is this a sign of a culture lacking in genuine friendships?

Our relationships are truly at the core of what our lives are all about, and how we handle them affects every other area of our lives.

No-one ever claims to want fewer friends, shallower relationships, or more conflict. In the later years of life, few people feel they have spent too little time on material things. But many people regret that they didn’t sow enough into their relationships.

We all have a great need for healthy relationships, deep friendships, and a sense of community. The relational dimension of our life can be the source of either great joy or much trouble. Many of us get the enormous satisfaction from our relationships, but they can also be the source of genuine pain. Life in itself is difficult enough, but when relationship difficulties get thrown into the mix, problems can just seem to compound. Problems with people can kill the joy in your life.

Many people find themselves feeling hurt, and as a result they can simply shut down. It’s easy to close off relationally – a bit like a tortoise – wanting to pull your neck in and hide.

The writer of Ecclesiastes wants us to understand that friendship is a good investment when he says:

‘Two are better than one, because they have good reward for their labour’

In his commentary on the book of Proverbs, H. D. M. Spence-Jones expands this verse to say: ‘Interaction with other men influences the manner, appearance, deportment, and character of a man – sharpens his wits, controls his conduct, and brightens his very face.’

The words ‘good reward’ can also be translated ‘good return’ – like dividends paid on a wise investment. The very best investments you will ever make in life will not be the financial ones, but the investments you make into relationships.

Let’s make this a benchmark of our lives:

‘I will always live by the principle of investing in relationships, and look for opportunities to make new friendships.’

Principles – Friends from Lifeplace on Vimeo.

1. Treat friendships as investments. Much like compounding interest, it takes time to build friendships.

It’s also wise to spread your investments. Work to widen your friendship base rather than relying on one or two people. You don’t want to find yourself relationally bankrupt! Get busy making new friends. The very best investments you will make in life will not be the financial ones, but the investments you make into relationships.

2. Friendship takes time to develop. Forget shortcuts – it takes time to find out who someone is, how to interact with them, and to build trust.

3. Friendships can sometimes be painful. If you’ve found yourself hurt by someone close or someone you thought you could trust (as most of us have) don’t be tempted to avoid finding new relationships by withdrawing into a shell.

Also remember that friendships that have been tested are the strongest.

4. Offer friendship first before expecting it to be offered to you. Think of friendship in terms of what you can give, rather than looking for what you can get from others. You’ll never know true friendship until you learn to put the needs of others above your own.

5.Build friendships strategically. Choose your friends wisely – they have the power to influence you greatly, for better or worse. Spend time with people who are moving in the same direction as you, with similar values and vision. Be careful around those who might hold you back or sidetrack you.

6.   Friendship is ‘life shared’. Meals together, shared experiences and making memories together are all powerful bonding tools. Some practical suggestions: Call people up; invite people into your home; belong to a Lifegroup; be there for them in times of need and for important occasions. Be proactive about attracting new friendships.

Pr 11:30 The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life; a wise person wins friends (NLT)

7.   Treat people the way you would like to be treated. Sometimes people in business think that the best way to get to the top is to be cutthroat and abuse relationships. Most of us have the natural tendency to react to how others treat us, rather than proactively giving courtesy, respect and care, especially if their behaviour towards us is less than friendly.

Remember the Golden Rule?

Matthew 7:12 Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behaviour: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God’s Law and Prophets and this is what you get. (The Message)

What kind of friend would you like to have? Be that person!

8. Learn to be a great listener. Don’t be a ‘motor mouth’! Don’t just talk about yourself; learn to ask open-ended questions that give others a chance to share about themselves.

9. Take the risk of vulnerability. Don’t lose the ability to trust, even though there is always the chance this may be abused. Withdrawing into suspicion and self-protection is not a healthy place to stay. As a general rule, offer others your trust – it’s the currency of a relational bank account.

10. Develop a lifestyle of self-evaluation. Be able to learn from others and adjust your behaviour   when appropriate.

Iron sharpens Iron: Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. (NLT)

These principles have been proven to work – over millennia!

Always make room for friendships in your life.

http://www.lifeplace.com.au

A recent survey asked people if they had at least 3 friends they could turn to in a crisis. 10 years ago 50% said yes to this. In the last 10 years that amount has shrunk to only 25%.

The relationships we build with others, including our friendships, have a major influence on our lives. They can be the source of great joy, strength and support – or enormous grief and pain.

None of the financial/career/material successes we might achieve can ever replace the high value of strong relationships.

Yet despite the popularity of social networking sites and the modern convenience of electronic communication, it seems many people today have difficulty developing and maintaining good friendships. Many admit they are lonely and don’t feel connected, describing themselves as relationally incomplete.

Many people just don’t seem to have what it takes to develop and sustain meaningful relationships and friendships. Instead they seem to repel people, finding friendships appear to dissolve around them. Many also seem to be missing a sense of community – having somewhere they feel they belong to where they can interact with others face to face.

Here are some of the difficulties people often seem to encounter in maintaining good friendships:

• Not knowing how to cultivate lasting relationships
• Not being able to deal with conflict effectively
• Giving up too quickly
• Expecting to receive before they have given

A quick fix may be to try to alter the outward personality – to learn some techniques and ‘people skills’. But in the long run it is far more effective to build strength of character and good principles into your life.

We need to ask ourselves: ‘Can people trust me? Am I faithful? Do I exhibit discretion? Am I loyal? Can I show love? Am I kind? Do I genuinely care for others?’

Real concern for others is like a plant whose visible branches and leaves grow out of its hidden roots. If we try to ‘fake it’ most people will see through our superficiality pretty quickly.

More to come!

www.lifeplace.com.au