David and Jonathan are the most unlikely of friends. Jonathan is in line for the throne. The twist is this – David is his best friend but also the rival of his father, Saul.

So what made this friendship so great? What does it reveal to us in 2009 about building true friendships?

Here are 4 principles of true friendship from David and Jonathon that we can apply to  all relationships – husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, work mates, and friends. Here’s the quick version:

1.    True friends strengthen us in God
1 Samuel 23:16‐17 Jonathan, Saul’s son, arose and went to David in the woods and strengthened his hand in God.

2.    True friends build faith not fear
1 Samuel 23:17 And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you.

3.    True friends are unselfish

1 Samuel 23:17. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Even my father Saul knows that.

4.    True friends give of themselves
1 Samuel 18: 4 And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt.

Friendships. Relationships. Community. The dilemma is simple: current day society and culture does not understand true friendship.

TV, media, and culture present a picture of relationships that in reality is often dysfunctional and surface level.

But the other side of this coin is that even in the church we need help! So often we view church as an event. It often strikes me how we come, give the Sunday handshake, and say a quick hello before making a swift exit. Just being friendly doesn’t mean we are being a friend.

Let’s remind ourselves of this: church is relationships.

We can all find ways to become more open to others, and invest time and energy into those around us.

Talk with someone this Sunday at church and go deeper in friendship.

I lived in Portland for 3 years. It is in the Pacific Northwest… aka Starbucks land! Starbucks started just 3 hours away in Seattle. Pike Place in Seattle is actually where the very first Starbucks store opened. There are over 200 Starbucks in Portland alone! Crazy.

I guess because it can be so cold and rainy, people like to sit indoors drinking coffee. I love all my Portland friends who are reading this, but I love the Australian sun!

Anyhow, I came across this little video on YouTube. As well as being funny, I thought it was very insightful to how we can make visitors feel sometimes at church!

When I think about launching a new church in Brisbane, this video speaks to one of my passions: doing church in a way that connects to the culture and people of the city. What do you think? How can we do church in a way that reaches the unchurched?

This Saturday we have our very first Lifeplace Men’s Breakfast! Everyone is invited. So bring a friend and get ready for a great time together and a word from Pastor Ben.

Saturday 21 March @ 9am

Cost: $20 at the door

Full Buffet Breakfast provided.

Location: Carindale Hotel at Westfield Carindale

“Malouf Room” Located on first floor (use elevator in lobby).

Carindale Street and Millennium Blvd

Time: 9:00am

The story in Mark 2 reveals 3 principles of true friendship.

Somehow 4 friends find out about Jesus. They have heard he can do miracles, and they think of their crippled friend. They waste no time. Their excitement is too much. They pick him up, bed and everything, and walk to the house that Jesus is at.

I. RELATIONSHIPS TAKE SACRIFICE

They don’t have a car, they don’t have a wheelchair. They only have themselves. They have every excuse in the world not to take their friend:

•    It is too far
•    He is too heavy
•    He will be an inconvenience.

But these 4 friends knew it would take personal sacrifice to bring their friend to Jesus.

II. RELATIONSHIPS TAKE COMMITMENT

Before they reach the house, they can hear the noise of a large crowd, the kind of muffled laughing and talking you get when hundreds of people come together. The friends pick up their pace. Will Jesus be there? Can he actually heal people? Will their friend get a miracle?

These friends had commitment. They went as far as climbing onto the roof of the house and ripping of the ceiling to lower their friend into the house!

These 4 friends had the commitment to push through the crowd.

III. RELATIONSHIPS REQUIRE ROOM

Even though the room was full, they found a way to make space for their friend to get into the presence of Jesus.

Well we can have no room for more too, but it does not just have to be a physical thing of no more room.  We can run out of room in these areas:
1.    Hearts,
2.    Burden,
3.    Focus as a church.

We must remember that church should never have a “no vacancy” sign up. I think we should all be carrying someone in life. After all, this story shows us that true friends are ones that carry their friends to Jesus.

Church has to be more than a Sunday meeting.

People are looking for more than an event, or a program, people are looking for relationship and a place to belong.

This poses an important question: What is authentic church community? So often we can come to church, and we never get beyond the polite Sunday morning handshake.

Community, in its simplest form, is a connection of friendships. It’s about relationships.

Acts 2 is the start of the local church as we know it, and it gives us a picture of what church community should be.

Acts 2:42,46: ” And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers. 46. So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart.”

In other words, in the Acts 2 church people were connected in community. There were relationships and friendships. There were sacrifices, there were also tensions at times between people.

The word used to describe this community is fellowship. It means ‘sharing’ together. It is the Greek word Koinōnia which gives us a richer understanding of community:

1. Partnership
2. Participation
3. Communication
4. Distribution
5. Fellowship

Here’s the heart of it: They didn’t just do church together, they did life together. There’s a big difference.

Do you have any ideas on how we can make church an authentic community? Add a comment – I would love to hear it.

In Australian culture, we so often like to pull people down. Sometimes it is called Tall Poppy Syndrome, other times it may just be our sense of humour. Either way, we would do much better by the people around us to build people up, not cut people down.

Sure, it’s easy to find fault in others. It may also seem funny to point out those faults. But a true friend finds the good in those around them.

Here’s a good thought: Bring out the best in people.

“A true friend prods you to personal growth, stretches you to your full potential. And more amazing of all, he celebrates your successes as if they were his own.” Richard Exley

The 2nd great commandment was to love one another. More important than any other spiritual practice, than career, gifting, or anything else was to love one another.

Romans 14:19 puts it this way, “Therfore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.” When you consider that the word edify means to build up it captures the heart of good friendships.

Look for ways to help friends achieve in life – don’t pull people down. Remember: a best friend is one who brings out the best in you.

Hi everyone!

This Sunday, 15 March, we have our church BBQ at 12pm.

Location: Carindale Recreation Reserve

Corner of Bedivere Street and Cadogan Street
Carindale, QLD 4152
Click here for a map

·         Bring your own food and drinks

·         Bring a picnic rug or chairs (though there are some seats at park)

·         Children’s playground is available

See you there!

In life, understanding friendships is very important. Here are a few interesting statistics that show why:

Having friends helps you live longer.
In one study, those who had the most friends over a 9-year period cut their risk of death by more than 60%.  Source: anapsid.org

Friendship is good medicine.
Dr. Dean Ornish, a pioneer in reversing heart disease, notes that no other factor in medicine – ”not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery – has a greater effect on how often we get sick than the healing power of love.”  Source: capecodonline.com

Friends are good for your heart and soul.
People with a strong social network are more likely to survive a major illness such as a heart attack or cancer. Human companionship can also help reduce the effects of stress on the body, protect against illness, and help us heal when we do get sick. They’re also less susceptible to chronic illnesses such as heart disease, inflammatory bowel disease and arthritis. Source: capecodonline.com

Smoking, obesity and loneliness
The famed Nurses’ Health Study from Harvard Medical School were so significant, the researchers concluded, that not having close friends was as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight.  Source: anapsid.org

The Carnegie Technological Institute
The Carnegie Technological Institute has stated that 90% of all people who fail in their life’s vocation fail because they cannot get along with people.

Check out our new series on friendship at www.lifeplace.com.au

Friendship at Lifeplace

Do you know the first thing God was not happy with? I’ll give you a hint. It had nothing to do with a tree. Nothing to do with a piece of fruit. And nothing to do with sin!

Genesis 2:18 – And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone.

After He created the entire universe, loneliness was the first thing God’s eye named not good.

It is reported that Howard Hughes, when worth approximately 4 billion dollars, said, “I’d give it all for one good friend.” Sounds like an echo of Adam’s situation thousand of years earlier.

We were made for relationships.

In the Bible friendship has less to do with personality and attraction than it does loyalty and covenants – agreements. It also shows both the benefits and the challenges of friendships. Here are 3 quick thoughts:

1. Loneliness is the opposite of friendship.
2. Loneliness comes from insulation not isolation.
3. For example, David was surrounded by people yet he was lonely at times

Church is a place where people can find connection and community. Adam had everything in the world, he lived in paradise, yet he was empty without relationships. What things can you do in your life to makes sure you are investing in people?

We have just started a new series at Lifeplace on the subject of “Friendships”.

On the right hand side of this blog is a new poll. It asks the question, “What’s the most important thing in a friendship?” Go and select your answer from the list.

Friendship is an essential part to all of our lives. It includes themes such as relationships, community, fellowship, and partnership.

Knowing how to build new friendships, and develop lasting relationships, is one of the most important skills we can learn in life.

The Bible puts it this way:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.

Look forward to seeing the poll response!